4 Tips to Help Control Freaks Be Team Players - The Muse

4 Tips to Help Control Freaks Be Team Players - The Muse4 Tips to Help Control Freaks Be Team PlayersRemember back when you were in school, and your teacher would announce that a new group project was being assigned? If your classrooms were anything like mine, you recall hearing a collective groan echo from chalkboard to chalkboard.Confession time I was probably the one groaning and complaining the loudest. But, it was likely for a different reason than fruchtwein of my classmates. My peers were disheartened to hear that even more work was being tossed on their plates. Me? I wasnt so upset about the new assignment. Rather, I was more discouraged that I was going to have to work in a group, when Id honestly rather just do the entire thing myself. That probably makes me sound like a pretty terrible person, and an even worse colleague- I get that. But, it doesnt change the facts Im a total control freak. I feel this undeniable urge to have the final say on every last detail- no matter h ow small.Theres only one problem This approach simply isnt maintainable (or advisable, really) in a work environment. When you need to effectively collaborate and communicate with your co-workers, behaving like this really gets in the way.As much as I love being in charge, I dont want to become known as that teammate whos a total steamroller. So, needless to say, throughout my years Ive managed to identify a few strategies thatve allowed me to loosen the reins and transform myself into a little more of a team player.Give these four tips a try, and youre sure to improve the way you work with your co-workers (even if your inner control freak is screaming all the while). 1. Recognize Your WeaknessesIf youre thinking that this seems like an incredibly discouraging first point, I cant blame you. However, taking some time to identify those things that you arent so great at can be incredibly helpful in relaxing your grip on every last piece of a project.When you crave control, its your nat ure to want to handle everything- regardless of whether or not youre the best one for the job. As bad as it sounds, youd rather have it within your own grasp than have to trust someone else to get it done.This is why recognizing your weaknesses can be so effective Youll have a much easier time delegating or releasing those things that you already know arent your forte. Theres no greater sense of comfort than knowing that spreadsheet is in the hands of your offices resident Excel whiz or that the pickiest proofreader in your entire company is taking the final look through that report.Identifying your own weaknesses does something equally important at the saatkorn time It highlights your teams strengths. By figuring out those pieces you arent well-equipped to handle yourself, youll find natural openings where others can easily step in, fill those gaps, and contribute to the project (without you spiraling into a panic). 2. Be Open and HonestTheres nothing worse than a control freak who repeatedly chants, Im not a control freak Listen, you like to be in charge- and, sometimes theres nothing wrong with that. But, refusing to own up to your true colors wont do you any favors. In fact, it will likely just irritate your team even more.The best thing you can do? Own up to the fact that you like to take charge right from the get-go. Doing so will boot that big, pink elephant out of the room right away, and nip those hushed whispers and annoyed remarks from your co-workers in the bud.However, simply admitting that you can be on the pushier side isnt quite enough. Take this piece of advice one step further by enlisting an accountability partner on your team. You should explicitly instruct this person to give you a heads up and pull you back down to earth when youre crossing the line from organized to obsessive. Having him or her keep you in check when you start to get a little too demanding will save you from snowballing into a full-on dictator. 3. Discuss, Dont DemandIf you asked two different people to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Im willing to bet they both wouldnt go about it the same way. Maybe one would slather peanut butter on one slice of bread, and then jelly directly on top of it. Perhaps the other would coat one slice in peanut butter, the other in jelly, and then smoosh them together.This isnt a lecture on the art of sandwich making (and- lets face it- it is an art), but the point is this Even though those people had two very different ways of making their classic PBJ, they still ended up with the same sandwich.Theres more than one way to do anything. That doesnt necessarily mean that one method is right and the other is wrong- theyre simply different. And, unfortunately, that ideology is much too easy to lose sight of when youre gritting your teeth at the thought of not maintaining every ounce of control by doing things your way. So, before storming in with your my way or the highway approach, make sure that you zip your lips and take some time to listen. You should even ask questions, rather than doling out strict demands and instructions. You might be surprised by the thoughtful ideas and suggestions that come to the surface. No, this might not come easily when youre a natural-born control freak. But, as the old adage goes, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. 4. Find Helpful Ways to ControlAlright, just because you cant clear everybody else out of the way and charge full steam ahead on your own doesnt mean you cant be responsible for anything. You are definitely still entitled to contribute to the project or objective with your thoughts and your efforts. Nobodys saying that being a team player means being completely hands off. The key here is to channel your my way or the highway tendencies into things that your team will actually appreciate. Perhaps thats by creating a detailed timeline for the entire project. Or, maybe youre the best one to lead your regular team meetings to get status updates. Theres a big difference between keeping everybody on track and keeping everybody under your thumb- and there are definitely times you can grab the reins and provide direction, without coming off as unbearably bossy. Find some different things that would actually help your team and put those on your own plate. Youll be a valuable team member, while still satisfying that inner control freak.Ill be the first to admit that I love being in charge, and that can often make it difficult for me to be perceived as a true team player. Luckily, these four tips have helped me to squelch my control freak tendencies (at least a little bit) and be an all-around better collaborator. Give them a try for yourself- Im sure your teammates will appreciate it Photo of co-workers courtesy of Portra Images/Getty Images.